We've got week three on tap after a wild week two in the NFL. We had some upsets, we had some comebacks, and we had some blowouts. A little bit of everything. Some things I am looking forward to in week three include:

Is Tuanon legit? A massive comeback for Miami when the Cheetah(Tyreek) and the Penguin(Waddle) went off against the Ravens in the fourth quarter now go up against the best team in football, Buffalo.

Are the Colts a poverty franchise? It sure seems that way. I look forward to seeing how many points Mahomes puts up on the Gus Bradley defense.

My sneaky game of the week. Detroit and Minnesota. Amon Ra "Meatsauce" St. Brown lighting up the Vikings while Justin Jefferson should light up the Lions in return.

Anywho, lets get into it!

Thursday, September 22nd

Pittsburgh Steelers @ Cleveland Browns(-4)

How a team led by Jacoby Brissett can be favored by five points against anyone is beyond me. Cleveland had a 99% chance with less than two minutes to go before blowing the game to “Elite” Joe Flacco and the Jets last weekend. The Steelers offense has been abysmal to start the year and it feels like it is only a matter of time until Kenny Pickett starts. This won’t be pretty but I am going to side with the Steelers here. I will never ever put my faith in Jacoby Brissett. Ever.

Pittsburgh Steelers 20 Cleveland Browns 17

Steelers +4

Sunday, September 25th

Buffalo Bills(-6) @ Miami Dolphins

My belief in Tuanon has done wonders for me so far this season. Tua had an awesome comeback against Baltimore and are now at home against the Bills. The good news is that Miami’s offense looks like it can go off against anyone. The bad news is that they are going up against a juggernaut in Josh Allen. This dude is the damn terminator. As much fun as I think Miami will be this season, I can’t fully put my faith in anyone in the NFL beating the Bills right now.

Buffalo Bills 31 Miami Dolphins 28

Las Vegas Raiders @ Tennessee Titans

It was a rough weekend for both of these teams. The Raiders found a way to blow a 20-0 lead against the Cardinals and the Titans got throttled by the Bills on Monday night. My one lean is that the Raiders look much better on offense than the Titans do. Outside of Derrick Henry, there isn’t much to be excited about offensively for Tennessee. Maybe they throw out Malik Willis before too long and see what he’s got. I don’t have confidence in either of these teams but I will pick Derek Carr and Davante Adams over Ryan Tannehill and Derrick Henry.

Las Vegas Raiders 24 Tennessee Titans 20

Houston Texans @ Chicago Bears(-3)

Justin Fields ranks 33rd in pass attempts this season. If you recall, there are only 32 teams in the NFL. Even in a blowout loss, Fields attempted eleven throws. That is diabolical. 

The Texans didn’t do much to impress but the defense kept Russell Wilson and the Broncos in check on Sunday. Houston isn’t a great team by any means but I definitely think they are better than Chicago.

Houston Texans 21 Chicago Bears 13

Houston +3

Kansas City Chiefs(-6.5) @ Indianapolis Colts

First off, the Colts are an embarrassment and a poverty franchise. I can not begin to express my embarrassment and feeling of shame to be linked to this once great franchise. Great news though, Patrick Mahomes and the Chiefs are coming up for the home opener and the Colts are going to get spanked again. Gus Bradley last year as defensive coordinator for the Chargers gave up 48 and 41 points last year to Mahomes. The last seven times all together Mahomes has played his defense, it’s been 17 touchdowns and two interceptions. His crappy zone defense couldn’t get pressure on a statue, what makes anyone think he will get any on Mahomes? Gus Bradley is trash and should be thrown in a dumpster. 

I know people want to believe that this is a good make it right spot for Indy but I believe fans should be bringing flowers for a funeral on Sunday instead. The Chiefs send the Colts to prison for life and Jackson Mahomes does a tik tok on Indy’s fifty yard line after the win to rub it in. 

Kansas Chiefs 49 Indianapolis Colts 14

Philadelphia Eagles(-6.5) @ Washington Commanders

Jalen Hurts looks like the most improved player in the league and it feels like the Eagles are an absolute wagon. Philly shut down Kirk Cousins and Justin Jefferson Monday night. The Commanders made a late push but fell to Detroit on the road. Carson Wentz has had his moments but has played at a higher level than he did last year. It helps when you have some actual wide receivers to throw the ball to. The Eagles defense showed up big and could be in another great spot to capitalize on Carson Wentz and his mistakes. Good luck stopping Jalen Hurts right now. He looks like he is in the zone. 

Philadelphia Eagles 31 Washington Commanders 23

Detroit Lions @ Minnesota Vikings(-6)

This divisional matchup should blow the roof off of US Bank on Sunday. The biting kneecaps of Dan Campbell and the ferocious Lions go up against Captain Kirk and the Vikings. I am ready to get rid of Sun in the nickname Sun God when it comes to Amon Ra St. Brown. The dude is a stud. Both of these defenses can give up the big play so I am expecting some fireworks come Sunday. As much as I want to get behind America’s new team, it’s hard to not go with the Vikings at home. It’ll be closer than people think. Justin Jefferson should rebound and have a monster Sunday against this defense. 

Minnesota Vikings 33 Detroit Lions 30 

Baltimore Ravens(-3) @ New England Patriots

The Ravens found a way to blow last weeks game even behind a historic day from Lamar Jackson. New England barely squeaked by the Steelers but found a way to look a little better than they did in week one. Baltimore’s offense has went from a run heavy approach to letting Lamar chuck it downfield and it has worked so far. Bill Belichick always has a great defensive gameplan but Lamar ends up being too much to handle on Sunday.

Baltimore Ravens 27 New England Patriots 16

Cincinnati Bengals(-5) @ New York Jets

The Jets are coming off a miracle win against Cleveland where they had a one percent chance to win with two minutes left before the Browns blew the game. Cincinnati got beaten and battered up front again in an embarrassing loss to the Cowgirls behind Cooper Rush. Falling to 0-2, this is a game the Bengals desperately need to keep in contention in the AFC. The Jets aren’t very good but they have hit gold with rookie receiver Garrett Wilson. The young duo of him and Elijah Moore could be a great one for years to come if the Jets could ever get a decent quarterback. New York upset the Bengals last year and seem to be in a spot to do it again. However, I think Joe Burrow finds a way to get Cincinnati’s first win of the year.

Cincinnati Bengals 27 New York Jets 20

New Orleans(-2.5) @ Carolina Panthers

The Saints were a quarter away from knocking off Tom Brady and the Bucs once again before Jameis Winston imploded this past Sunday. A 3-3 game turned in the fourth quarter when Famous Jameis threw a few interceptions that cost the Saints a victory. Carolina lost again like usual to the Giants where Matt Rhule was outcoached once again. Coach Rhule has won one game when the opponent has scored 17+ points. If the Saints can hit 17 points, I will rack it up as an automatic win because Matt Rhule is the shits. I like Chris Olave to have a nice game here and the Saints defense to disrupt Baker and the gang Sunday.

New Orleans Saints 23 Carolina Panthers 17

Jacksonville Jaguars @ Los Angeles Chargers(-7)

The Jaguars beat the daylights out of the Colts once again, leaving them in a pile of dust. The Chargers blew a chance to be atop the AFC West with a Justin Herbert pick six late and now have to worry about his rib injury. It’s hard to tell if Herbert will be fully healthy this week or anytime soon for the matter. Keenan Allen should be back and make the Chargers offense fully healthy and hard to defend. As always, the Chargers can be on upset alert because that is how Chargers football tends to go. I’ll take LA to win this game but I see Trevor Lawrence and Christian Kirk finding a way to keep this close.

Los Angeles Chargers 28 Jacksonville Jaguars 24

Los Angeles Rams(-4) @ Arizona Cardinals

Outside of the fourth quarter last week against the Raiders, the Cardinals have looked terrible this season. Kyler Murray dropped his headset and put his team on his back in a wild turn of events in Las Vegas. The Rams almost let Atlanta come back from a 28-3 lead(insert joke here), but held off the Falcons with a late interception from Jalen Ramsey. LA has won the last two meetings against the Cardinals and look to make it three in a row Sunday. Aaron Donald should disrupt a bad offensive line for Arizona and the duo of Stafford and Kupp should be able to take advantage of a bad secondary of the Cardinals.

Los Angeles Rams 31 Arizona Cardinals 24

Atlanta Falcons @ Seattle Seahawks(-1.5)

The Falcons almost was able to complete a 28-3 comeback in redemption of their Super Bowl loss. Instead, Mariota threw a late pick to Jalen Ramsey and the joke will still live on forever. Kyle Pitts has been declared missing the last two weeks with a stat line of four catches for 39 yards. It doesn’t make a whole lot of sense to draft him top five to not use the guy but thats just me. The Seahawks are a mess on both sides of the ball. The offense might as well be a resemblance of when players wore leather helmets. Even though Atlanta has lost both games, they have hung tough and are the better team here. We will see if the 12th man in Seattle disrupts things for the Falcons. This one won’t be pretty.

Atlanta Falcons 20 Seahawks 17

Green Bay Packers @ Tampa Bay Buccaneers(-2.5)

I know the Bucs are 2-0 but they are in some real trouble. The entire offensive line is a mess and their weapons are either hurt or suspended. Mike Evans is suspended after pushing Marshon Lattimore. Chris Godwin is hurt. Julio Jones is a gust of wind away from pulling a hamstring. The defense is the only thing holding up Tom Brady’s final season right now. 

Green Bay looked a lot better in week two. The run game strong and as Allen Lazard gets healthier and the rookies get more involved, the passing work for Aaron Rodgers should improve. The defense isn’t as good as the Bucs but it can definitely hold its own against Brady this weekend. It’s always hard to go against the GOAT but I am going to take the Packers on the road. I just don’t think Tom Brady has the horses to keep up. 

Green Bay Packers 23 Tampa Bay Buccaneers 17

San Francisco 49ers(-1.5) @ Denver Broncos

The more things change, the more they stay the same. Jimmy Garrapolo is back in the saddle as the 49ers quarterback and everything goes back to the way it was when the 49ers made it to two NFC Championships. Unfortunately, Trey Lance broke his ankle and will be out the rest of the year. What a weird spot he has been in with being drafted third overall just to have Jimmy G linger around and then come back with open arms. Just weird.

Anywho, the 49ers looked good and in rhythm with Garrapolo at the helm. The Broncos might be one of the worst coached teams of all time. We are talking Urban Meyer, Matt Nagy, Adam Gase level of embarrassment. Nathaniel Hackett is a buffoon. An idiot of epic proportions. The mismanagement, the red zone struggles, and the fact they tried a punt return without having a returner on the field is just shameful. High schools have better coaching than this. Overall, I think the Broncos still have a good team. I deeply regret having them picked over the Chiefs in the division with the info I have now. 

The Broncos definitely have the talent to beat the 49ers. The coaching doesn’t have the brain cells to make that happen. I’ll take San Fran on the road here.

San Francisco 49ers 27 Denver Broncos 17

Dallas Cowboys @ New York Giants(-2.5)

I do not remember a time in my life when the New York Giants were 2-0. Brian Daboll has scraped enough from Danny Dimes and Saquon Barkley to make that happen in his first year as head coach. The Cowboys got a big upset against the Bengals behind another huge game from the defense. Micah Parsons should be frontrunner for defensive player of the year. The Giants have been no slouch on defense either so I am not expecting many points to be scored here. Even though the Cowboys have a backup at quarterback, the defense has been unreal the first two games and they should be able to handle Daniel Jones just fine and be able to shut down Saquon.

Dallas Cowboys 17 New York Giants 14